A dark new comer

I never imagine about him. I never think that he will become a part of my family and take my place. I try to keep silent and ignore everything. It is useless, the more I am in my silence the more he does anything he likes.

…

They kept fight and argued about a man. My sister loved him so much and my mother forbade my sister to be with that man. Then, my sister cried a lot everyday. Sometimes she forced us—I and my mother— to believe her, to face that she needed to marry in order to feel the real happiness. She was bored because of her life—our family life— which was hard and so complicated. She said she needed a man, who would be able to give her feeling how to be loved.

They shouted by turns endlessly. The only stopped talking when they felt exhausted yet if they had a lot of energy they kept all day long. It was as if they were the only one who lived at that house. I just pretended not heard nonetheless I heard everything. Sometimes, I followed them and entered their world—debating world— to give some suggestions or defended one of them, then I also became angry, followed to shout.

SEVERAL months later, she finally married with that man and she certainly became a wife. The wedding party of hers was a small-scale party. Everything was too ordinary and poor. The dress of her was a loan from my older cousin. Foods and beverages were made by my aunts not a chef or catering. There was no card invitation, so people just knew mouth by mouth. Moreover, in that event, there was no dishwasher so I, my mother and our neighbor became volunteers for a day. That was so poor and embarrassing.

At that time, my mother was sobbing a lot. I kept quiet and went on my unclear dishes. I knew that she cried because her daughter finally married yet not a marriage like this one that my mother wished, exactly. She talked to me in my eyes. She said that I must be the one who would make her happy and became a good girl. I nodded then.

…

Times keep running unwittingly. They had already become a family for eight months. Through one night, we fought about a small thing. First, that man disliked what my mom behaved. He scolded my mother till I was woken up because of that noisy debating. That man kept his mouth against my mother. I, who just now opened my eyes, became angry and started to scold him back. I didn’t accept his bad treat to my mother. My heart said, now I really hated him so much.

I showed my anger to him even though my heart was actually crying. At this day, that time I in the first time looked his true face. It was so scary than I thought. Tonight became an unforgettable moment, I guessed.

Tomorrow morning, we four were in a big silence, very silent. Speaking when we felt it was really emergency and needed. From that day I never looked at him in eyes again even his face. I refused because my heart was crying when I remembered that night.

It might be too over and excessive. Yet, my sadness was not only because of that night event. I was sad from the beginning when I saw my mother crying at my sister’s marriage party. My mother was disappointed for sure. A daughter whom she had and she saved in a whole of her life and gave her daughter a food also school yet she was not obedient and instead protested to my mother and chose that man, that bad man.

Day by day became worse and worst. Finally I lived in a new boarding house nearby my campus and it meant that I stayed away from my lovely mother. I just could cry, sometimes.

…

SATURDAY and Sunday are my days for visiting my mother and my sister. I am happy on every Friday afternoon because I have to begin to leave when my study time is off. Yet, it is heard my phone vibrating. It is a new message from my sister. It says that I am forbidden to visit because her husband is there. He changes his mind or maybe he is off from his work, jobless. For some weeks, he is there and I am alone here.

He ever told my sister that he hates me because of my behavior and doesn’t want if I come along to my sister. If only, he reflects his appearance to the mirror. He is eventually a man who changing my family life and getting a mess to my family especially my sister.

I am speechless then.